Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Down with fever and flu~

Bersawang? Tahu. Lama tak online. 'Jenguk' FB pun thru handphone je.

All of us are not well at the moment. Flu, fever, cough.. And mine was pretty bad since the tonsillitis decided to appear as well.

I was on MC for 2 days and still not fully OK. Since office work is piling up, further MC is a big no-no..

Rayyan Ariff has not shown any significant improvement. Most probably, it will take a few more days for him to recover. 

Rifa Aleesya got infected with the flu virus much later than Rayyan. But it is still quite bad. Today, she refused to drink and eat much. 

Rayyan Ariff, bila tak sekolah, all the sweetness berterabur. Bosan and not occupied, mula la buat perangai. Yang jadi mangsa adik la..

Apa Adik pegang dia rampas, apa adik main dia rebut. Diaper yang kita nak pakai kat Adik, dia ambik pergi sorok dalam laci.. Tak semena-mena cubit or tarik Adik. Kalau Adik kat atas riba, dia pun sibuk la nak beriba.. Kalau dukung Adik, beria tarik kaki Adik suh letak.. Hadoiii.. Tapi bila datang baik dia, tiba2 je kiss Adik. Siap ambik botol susu Adik and tolong suapkan.. 

Tp bila badan sendiri sakit plus the sick children, memang mencabar.. SETERESSSSS.. Yup, I have to spell STRESS with extra E n SSSS! 

Pemandangan biasa.. Sorang sibuk nak panjat mama, sorang lagi dapat kaki pun jadiiiii..

Sampai En Suami pun kata, cukup la dua.. Tak terlayan dah pun.. Dah sepasang katanya.

Tapi bila tengok muka comel cenggini, 3, 4 lagi pun nakkkk.. :P

Adik Rifa Aleesya dalam fasa nak berdiri.. Pulling herself up by holding to something dah lama master. Sekarang dalam fasa nak bangun without holding on to anything. From sitting to standing. Tadi siap berani lepas tangan kot.. Adoii la Dik, you're not even 8 months old! My mom dok bising jangan bagi dia berdiri lama sangat, pinggang still lembut katanya.. Macam mana la nak larang? Kot boleh ikat kat kerusi takpe jugak.. Just jaga jangan bagi jatuh je la.. She's developing.

Hmmm.. Harap2 bila Abang tengok Adik berjalan, dia pun sibuk la nak berjalan jugak.. Balancing dah OK, tapi takde inner drive. Takde nafsu pun nak berjalan sendiri. So Abang, sila compete dengan Adik kalo takmo left behind. 

Whatever it is, get well soon my beloved children. Abang Ian leh cepat2 gi school balik. Suka tengok dia bangun pagi happy nyanyi2 sambil tangan goyang2 excited nak gi school..

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

My loving children~

It’s already 19th June and my June entries are just a few kan? *sigh*

There’re so much for me to update but I just could not find the time to do it. Can someone teach me how to post entry using Blackberry? I guess it will be much easier if I know how to do that. At least I can write something while putting the children to bed.. =P

OK, back to the above topic.

Last Sunday, the kids were enjoying their favourite Gardenia bread and they were sitting next to each other. Out of the sudden, Rayyan Ariff turned to his baby sister and gave her a kiss on the cheek. He turned to his nenek with a very sweet smile on his face and gave her a kiss as well. My heart was melting with what he did and I said to him, “Good boy, Ian.. Very good..” I smiled and clapped my hands.

He turned to me who was sitting on the couch which is just behind him, pulled himself up and gave me a kiss too.

The best feeling ever and I definitely don’t know how to describe it. That was not the first time he gave us kisses. But that one is really meaningful since he gave it to everyone, especially his baby sister.

He tends to have this love-hate feeling for his sister. So, for him to give her a kiss voluntarily, is just adorable. He can be quite harsh with his sister at certain times because he looks at her as the one who stole the spotlight and he’s now no longer the centre of attraction.

Rifa Aleesya herself seems to understand her brother well and most of the time, quite tolerable in the sense that she’s OK with her brother stealing away her toys. Just a little noise and it won’t get prolong into unnecessary loud cries.

The angels of our life.. :-)

I hope this love grows deeper every day. InsyaAllah.

And if you notice something from the above, you will definitely say the same thing as what Rayyan Ariff’s therapist said the other day, “He’s not dull at all. He knows how to express his feelings. He knows that when you love someone, you give them hugs and kisses..”

Yes, definitely not dull. He’s manipulative in his own way. Tahu merajuk. Tahu nak kena pujuk. Tahu nak pujuk orang. Tahu sedih. Tahu marah. Tahu nak jalan-jalan. Tahu nak berkasih sayang.

Syukur Alhamdulillah.


Sunday, June 17, 2012

FB status updates on my miracle boy..

While waiting for our session, this is what I've posted:

Yesterday, our day was filled with hydrotherapy, speech therapy n physiotherapy. Today, it's a rainy Sunday morning and instead of lazying on the bed, we're at a physiotherapy centre.. Tired? Nope.. Life is rewarding and I'm counting my daily blessings.. ;-) 
~9.45am @ Sham Physiotherapy Centre~

After our session, I just couldnt help myself to post another status update:

My boy taught me to spell M-I-R-A-C-L-E in capital letters today!! I accidently showed him the word N-O-S-E and he confidently pointed to his nose. Consistently more than once.. HE CAN READ!! Subhanallah, Allahuakbar. I should NEVER underestimate this young man ever again! 

Syukur Ya Allah. Syukur Alhamdulillah.. :-)

Friday, June 15, 2012

Dia happy, kita pun happy.. Sangat mak-mak OK! :P

Lately he looks so cheerful. He laughs, he giggles, and he doesnt make unnecessary scene anymore.. The reason for that could be because he's started to go to school again after such a long break..

When he goes to school, the activities that they have really occupied him. If we were to make him stay in the house all day long, he'll be restless and that is when he starts to create unnecessary mess.

Just now, I went to pay for his school fees. Given the distance from my office to his school is not that near, I decided to pay for 3 months fee so that I dont have to come back anytime soon. After paying the 4 figures amount, I really started to feel the 'heat'.. But looking at his smiling face, I know that it's all worthy..

*Gambar goyang because he was walking towards me*

He looks so abang-abang with his school bag and uniform right? *smiling heart*

He has been getting good remarks from his school teachers. They were talking of how cheerful he looks, how cooperative he is, how his balancing is improving and how he interacts with others. Owh, Rayyan Ariff's teacher even told me that he also has a good friend by the name of Tatina or Titana.. Hahahhaa.. I guess, if he's able to talk, he will definitely keep on mentioning about his friend and what they did in school..

When we were walking out, the school bus driver said hi to us and Rayyan Ariff got another compliment, "Ooh.. You're going back with your mother today haa?? It's so good that he's progressing well. Look at him, he looks bright.." 

Hehehe.. To me, I would say that he looks cheeky rather than bright.. Muahahaa..

Whatever it is, I'm thankful for this lil miracle of mine. Thank you Allah.

Actually, we're considering relocating in Subang area since we spent most of our Saturdays there. We would usually just sat around in the Surau or at the lobby area for the 2-3 hours gap between each therapy sessions. If we live nearby, we can just go back and dont have to waste our time there.

And it will be much harder if Rayyan Ariff got admitted for whatsoever reason. The distance, the travelling cost re fuel and toll, the traffic in MRR2.. Whoahhh.. *Lap peluh* 

But now, seeing how happy he is at his current school, I dont think relocating is an option.

Hopefully, happiness and health will always be with you, son.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Sama kasih, sama sayang..

Cerita pasal Adik tak sebanyak Abang ehh..
Gambar Adik pun tak sebanyak Abang walau kononnya Adik lahir DSLR dah merata-riti..
Video Adik pun tak banyak record even tho video cam ade jer..
Kali pertama Adik meniarap, kali pertama Adik angkat bontot, kali pertama Adik merangkak, kali pertama Adik duduk, kali pertama Adik makan solid food, semua mama tak rakam.
Takde video. Takde gambar. Gambar yang ada, semua gambar bila Adik dah terror.

Tapi kalau ditanya, bukan sebab tak sayang.. Rasa kasih tu sama sahaja..
Lagi pun, Adik anak perempuan mama.. 
Anak perempuan mama yang melahirkan rasa pinkish di jiwa mama.. Rasa girly di hati mama..
Adik anak perempuan mama..
Mama sayang sesungguh hati..

Bukan jugak taknak celebrate progress Adik macamana mama celebrate progress Abang Ian. 
Actually mama bangga sangat-sangat. 
2 bulan lebih head control dah bagus.
3 bulan 7 hari adik meniarap untuk kali pertama.
5 bulan 19 hari Adik merangkak untuk kali pertama.
6 bulan lebih, Adik dah terror merangkak & duduk..
7 bulan lebih yakni sekarang, dah sibuk pulled yourself up to standing position.
Cepatnya anak mama membangun..
Mama gembira..
Mama suka..
Pada masa yang sama, rasa macam baby Mama ni cepat sangat membesar.
Walaupun badan cinonet jer..

Anak perempuan mama.. :-)

Terima kasih tuhan, di atas kurniaanMu yang cukup indah ini.. 
Terima kasih tuhan, kerana menghantar Puteri Rifa Aleesya di dalam hidup kami..

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

A mother of 2~

Lack of updates? Yup, I know, I know, it's very obvious!
*Genting trip, Bukit Tinggi, balik kampung, birthday entry and a few more that are still in the draft folder..*

Kalau kata busy, macam klise pulak. Tapi that's the fact. 
Busy doing the usual things.. 
Tapi macamana penat sekalipun, bila balik rumah and the two kids berebut kejar mintak dukung, heaven OK! Ambik Abang, Adik nangis jealous. Ambik Adik, Abang cepuk Adik tanda protes. Dua-dua pun comel! Dua-dua pun anak manja mama~
Dua penunggu dapur~ Pantang bukak gate, cepat jer meluru nak masuk dapur..

Masa nk online dah la limited. Rather than spending it on posting something, I have some other things to do, that is, online shopping, online shopping and online shopping.. Muahahhaa.. Kata nak raya kan.. :P

So far, baju raya dah settled for the kids. Baju melayu & baju kurung dah siap. Dah try dah pun. Comel OK Cik Puteri kita pakai baju kurung. Tuan kecik takyah cakap la memang handsome bila berbaju melayu!

Baju kasual, utk Rayyan Ariff dah settled. Beli kat Sogo masa sales brand Polo hari tu. Cuma kalau ada kelapangan, nak topup jeans je lagi sehelai. Rifa Aleesya pun dah settled. Takde apa nak tambah dah.. Untuk Adik, sepasang je beli kat Sogo, yang lain, semua online.. :P

Untuk ayah, 2 t-shirts lg. Untuk Mama, 2 baju kurung lagi nak matching dengan baju kasual anak-anak. Konon nak mengimarahkan lagi suasana dengan kesedondonan kami la.. Hehehehe..

Puasa? Alhamdulillah last year tak tinggal. So, heaven lah kan.. Nak puasa sunat cam tahun2 lepas, takut effect milk production. Tambah2 bila my mom kata, yang puasa wajib pn ada yang bukak sebab tak larat nak susukan anak, so tak puasa sunat dulu pun takpe la..

Risau my mom takut tak cukup stok susu cucu dia. Maklumlah, frozen stock bukannya banyak pun. Hehehe.. Supplement? Obimin, Shaklee & VCO Catalyst masih lagi jd santapan harian.. Harap2 production maintain la masa Ramadhan nanti.. :-)

Ok. That's all. GTG. See ya'!!

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Because we're special..

Last Saturday, hubby attended a wedding. Since the bride and groom are his good friends, he went for the solemnization ceremony as well.

As for the kids and I, I decided to bring them for some fun and it needs to be somewhere near since I wont be around on Sunday for work related matters. Further, it was a public holiday hence there was no therapy for Rayyan Ariff.
We brought him to Berjaya Time Square Theme Park and when we got there, he was happily walking around with us holding one of his hands.

After a while, he lifted his hands and asked to be carried. It was pretty strange for him to do that as in the norm, he really enjoy his walking sessions.

After a very long queue for entry tickets, we went to McD to wait for my sister. Rayyan Ariff again refused to walk. Even worse, he refused to put his left foot down. No weight bearing. No step taking. In just a few minutes apart, he started crying.

I was panicking as I thought there was something wrong with his left foot. Bitten by something? Accidently cut by something? As I was pressing the sole of his foot, my heart cried to see that he was helplessly crying and trying to pull his leg away as a gesture of asking me to stop pressing his foot sole.

Then I looked at his little toe, it was really red and a bit swollen. That particular moment, I knew it was his shoes! It's too tight for him! We bought the shoes last year for RM700 and I know that it will be just a matter of time for us to get a new one since children tends to outgrow their shoes and clothes pretty fast.

Since it is a special shoes, I dont really know what would the sign of tightness be as it needs to be worn tightly. I did ask Sarjit to check it a week before whether it needs to be changed or not and according to Sarjit, it is still OK.

I was so sad when this thing happened. This whole thing made me realised one thing, my toddler is so helpless that he could not even tell me that his shoes were too tight for him. When my heart was silently crying in sadness, I told myself, "I will work on something and double my effort. I will make sure one day you'll be able to tell me if you're in pain or discomfort. I will try my best."

Upon shouting those words in my mind, I felt like I've been hit on my head again!

"This is the reason why He gives you a special child like Rayyan Ariff. Because giving up is a big no for you! Cry no more because you are special, too.."

Yes, that's my promise to you son. To be more proactive.

A promise.

This is how we spell our life, S-P-E-C-I-A-L

La Tahzan.

Friday, June 1, 2012

Life is rewarding and I'm counting my daily blessings..

This past few months has been really hard for me.. It was like sitting on an emotional roller coaster ride. I dont know how to reflect the true feeling that I've been keeping inside. Or rather I should say, the truth is that I dont really want to completely share it..

Currently, I'm looking back at our life.. What a long walk it has been! I'm reflecting where we had started and where we are at, now..

It has been more than 4 years. And I'm hoping and praying for many more good years to come.

I remember, when one of the doctor was "advising" us to abort the pregnancy since this is a fatal desease and our child will be severely handicapped even if he survived, the doctor asked us in an unsatisfied tone of voice,
"Do you want him to be a burden to his siblings?"
"Do you want him to live a life that is full of pain, handicaps and surgeries?"

My answer was very short. "No."

But his life is not mine to take. Abortion was not an option at all.

We were forced to believe that he will not survived after birth since he was left with not much brain tissues. Less than 5%.
We were told, that his brain parts were not fully formed.

When we prepared for his arrival, we were not sure whether he'll be with us or we have to let him go..

But that was then.

And now, looking back at our journey, I truly understand what the doctor meant.

Everything that he said is so real now. I know what he meant with "life with pain, handicaps and surgeries"

But I would still think that his life is not mine to take. I cant be deciding whether he should or should not live. It is definitely not my say.

He has his own quality. His life has its own purpose.

He eats.

He plays on his own

He play with others

He did the activities that we asked him to do..

He amazed us with his progress

He loves books.

He crawls

 He stands

 He walks

 He swims

He goes to school

He interacts with his sibling

I know his life is hard in certain ways. But I cant ignore the fact that there is a purpose for that and let it be Allah's secret.  

His life is rewarding.
And I'm counting my daily blessings.

Thank you Allah.