HUMAN VERSION OF THE DEVIL!!!

Entry from my previous blog

How can a person turns into such a terrible monster? She's just a lil' gal.. Don't you have heart at all?

A DNA test which has an accuracy of 99.99% has confirmed that the body of a girl found in a sportsbag is that of Nurin Jazlin who had been missing for a month. Although the parents denied it, it doesn't matter. Whoever the gal is, Al-Fatihah for her.. No one can imagine what she has gone through and how much pain she has suffered.

Buat semua, mari la kita sama2 sedekahkan Al-Fatihah & Yassin untuk si mati..

Lelaki ini untukku

Entry from previous blog

LELAKI INI

Kasih, kenanganku

Ingatkah saat saat dulu

Kasih, apakah dirimu

Merasakan semua itu
Kemanapun langkahku pergi

Ku masih melihat bayanganmu cintaku

Dan kemanapun arah anginku berlari

Hati ini masih kau miliki

Chorus:Lelaki ini yang selalu mencintamu

Selalu, tanpa ragu

Lelaki ini yang selalu memuja

Hanya dirimu

Yang bertakhta dalam sanubariku
Sanubari ku

Aku yang mencintakan mu

Hanya dirimu?
Bridge:Karena cintaku, tak berbatas waktu

Karena cintaku, tak mengenal jenuh hatimu

Aku tahu kau lelaki terbaik untukku.. persetan dgn umpat keji orang kerana mereka tak merasai dan memiliki apa yg kita ada.. Aku akan belajar memaafkan dan melupakan kiranya itu yang terbaik.. Maafkan aku andai aku terkasar denganmu. Sememangnya aku tak pernah lepas dari melakukan kesilapan.. Demi dirimu yang kucintai, I'm willing to change.. I'm willing to be someone better... bukan untuk orang lain, tapi untuk dirimu, untuk aku, dan untuk masa depan kita.. Kerana, cinta yang satu padamu.. dan kerana, kaulah lelaki itu...

Tenderness of a wife atau kemengada-ngadaan seorang isteri? :P

Entry from my previous blog

Just finished talking to hubby jst nw.. ok lar.. marriage doesn’t stop him from calling me at least twice a day.. Hope nothing would stop him from doing so. My friends kata, ye la.. baru2 kawin, org tgh happy mestila camtu.. tp we've been doing ths since a couple of years back.. plus, ade je couple yg dh tua pn still jalan sama2 n holding hands lagi.. InsyaAllah.. Cuba kekalkan sampai ke tua..

Happy ke? Actually we don’t have to tell other people about everything.. if it is almost transparent, ppl can alwiz see it clearly.. At 1 time, even my mom notices it.. The way he looks at me, it’s not just ordinary looks. Mommy penah ckp ms blk kg ari tu.. “Eii.. jelesnya la haii.. asyik tenung je.. dari jauh pn dia pandang jer.. macam x puas2 pandang.. abah x penah pn pandang mommy camtu.. ms mula2 kawin dulu pn xde..”

When I asked him not to do it in front of others especially my parents, he simply replied.. “salah ke abang pandang isteri abang.. I want to capture all of your movement in my head.. in my heart.. so that I cud never forget u..” (lbh kurang camni la..) bila dia ckp cam ni, malu la plak.. well, I just dnt handle romantic thingy very well.. (Pd hal dlm ati berbunga riang.. getik la plak)
I think it is jst who he is.. don’t mind about revealing his feelings, don’t care bout me knowing his weaknesses.. x kisah bila berbicara soal perasaan.. some people said that malay man ni x romantic.. xnk express sumer ni.. tp he doesn’t mind it at all.. Luv is smthing tht need to be reminded, so it needs to be expressed with words and perbuatan..

I’m still adapting myself to marriage life. Susah rupanya kalo dh biasa idup dgn kawan2 yg riuh rendah n tetiba nk idup berdua je (dh la dia jenis mmg sejak azali lg x byk ckp).

Plg mencabar ms marah, dulu marah leh switch off handphone and totally shut him out. Ni marah pun dia ade depan mata, ish rasa nk sepak2 jer.. Especially during weekend, ms kita penat2 dr pg smpi ke ptg x berenti wat keje rumah n he jst sit there and watch TV. Panas btul! Maybe we need to divide the chores equally kot.. kalo housewives xpe la.. ni working women.. hehheheh.. Tp alhamdulillah, when it comes to his part, hubby jenis yang x payah nk suruh2 n bkn jenis pengotor yang suka letak brg bersepah or buang puntung rokok merata (mmg la tak coz dia x merokok).. Sampah pn xyah suruh gi buang, tau je timetable dia.. dh rajin tolong jemur kain.. stakat ni 2 tu je.. xpe.. xpe.. akan diasuh lagi..

Tp org laki ni pandai, time kita marah dia tau je nk tackle camne. So xleh nk marah lama2.. Guys, one of d way to calm her down is to hug ur wife (sambil mintak maaf).. Indescribable moment, bila kita dlm pelukan org yg kita sayang.. marah pn x jd nk lama2.. P/s – gals can oso do it. A friend use to say, x salah seorang isteri berlembut dgn suami, sbb nnt dia nyer reward tu mmg mengkagumkan.. As for her tenderness n willing to mengalah with her husband, hubby dia selalu belikan dia smthng.. best woo..

I used to think that I’ve chosen him so I’m stuck with him for the rest of my life.. (coz when we were dating last time, quite a number of guys approached me.. - perasan sket.. but no worries, it happened to most all of the gals out there, not jst me.. oso happened to u kan? yea.. u yg tgh baca ni la). Kadang2 tuhan bg options so that idup x la mendatar.. At one point, there’s a doctor, architect, engineer etc.. tp dh jodoh dgn hubby kuat n of course I ddnt regret it..

In fact, I’ve alwiz think if I end up wth the architect or any1 else, would they be as gud as hubby? I dnt thnk they can match him in certain sense.. I know how deeply hubby loves me.. n sometimes I did take him for granted (as human being, some of the time u did feel that u r better than others, aite?).. When I behave that way, this is wht I got from a friend who knows the story.. “Ape la u ni.. x baik treat dia camtu tau.. kesian dia.. put it ths way, not everybody cn be there for u like wht he did most all of the time..” Bad me..

Last nite lagi la.. I made him choose between EPL n me.. sj je.. guess wht d answer is, he’s willing to sacrifice Liverpool… mmg la he’s one of d kipas susah mati of Liverpool, mesti dia sj bagi jawapan tu coz xnk gaduh.. I penah ckp dulu, I’ll never ask my man to choose between me n football… but I just cnt help it… sj nk tau.. (eventhough nampak muka dia x ikhlas ms buat pilihan… hahhahah)

Hubby, when I ask u to stay with me till I fall asleep, it’s not bcoz I mengada-ngada… I just want u to be d lst moving object that I see b4 I close my eyes n ur body to b the lst thng tht my nose smell… when I wake up d next morning, I still wnt the same thng! Luv u…

I'm StiLl wItH d' SC

Entry from my previos blog

Quirk of fate… I thot tht I’ve really made up my mind. After being persuaded a couple of time by lots of people, especially my boss n director.. n plus some token that they are willing to give, I’m still with the SC.. muahahaha… what can I say, Libran sucks at decision making. But at least it shows that they appreciate me here and they are willing to do something to retain me... muahahha... Recognition is important!

Actually, I decided to stay with the SC coz I wnt to further my study… since they could provide the financing needed, I might as well just make the best out of it…

Hubby is also fine with the decision… he’ll pay for the course initial fees… but I still have doubt bout my decision to enroll in MBA programme… boleh ke aku study lg? cam dh beku jer… ppl alwiz say that Master’s degree is not the same with Bachelor’s degree. U really need to put ur mind and heart.. give 110%... is it really that tough? Dh takut dh ni…

MBA is not my goal actually, I wnt to do Msc Finance which is only available in UIA. Since I can’t drive, hubby said Gombak is a bit far from our home and office… it will be quite troublesome for him to send me to Gombak, wait till I finish my class n drive all the way back to Ampang. If it is just for a few months, it’s ok la… but it’s going to take at least 2 years… kesian hubby... dh ada ank nnt mesti lg susah.. hehheheh…. Xpe la.. MBA majoring in Investment & Applied Finance oso ok… I alwiz wanted to make capital market as my bread n butter…

Updates

Entry from my previous blog

It’s been a while… well, when I am too busy being happy, I jst couldn’t find enuff time to update ths blog… :P

Last time I was thinking of doing ths regularly. But I guess it is jst nt me.. tho I gt distinctions for both bahasa, still, writing is not my thing… muahahahha… I'm suppose to post my update on life after marriage… my first tomyam (which is a bit salty), my first sambal udang (hubby said jst nice. :P), my first half-boiled egg (it’s not even half done – hahhahah)…. And the title is “My First of Everything”…

Unfortunately, I didn’t gt chance to post it out… got problem with my PC @ home, n I’m 80% sure that I’ve lost everything that I’ve saved in that PC. Well, I’m not going to re-write that one coz altho i did, 1st touch wll never b d same…

Got piles of works on my desk but I’m not in d mood anymore… cant wait to go back. It’s almost 515… my last day in d SC wll b on 24th July (due to my resignation, I don’t really hv files anymore… L … ) cant describe my feeling to leave such a great organization. I’ve met lots of professional n super-friendly ppl here in d SC. Plus, not everybody gt chance to be in Regulator’s shoes… N d interview, pheww… d stages r jst getting tougher… One of my frenz went 4 d interview twice 2 get a scholarship to save a place in the SC but couldn’t gt in… I oso dnt knw why, she’s damn gud!

But still lots of ppl dnt knw wht SC is… they thot it is a security guard company. When I need to explain, this is wht I normally used… Like Bank Negara Malaysia regulates d banks and all financial institutions, the SC regulates brokers, investment banks & unit trusts companies (tho we r doing more than diz…)..

Whatever it is.. I’ve made up my mind… so, sayonara SC… huhuhu.. cant believe I’m doing diz.. at least nt now!

wHeN lUv iS iN d Air

Entry from my previous blog

I don’t know where to begin… I feel like writing since all d work tht I’m doing is starting to give me headache… Looking from one angle, I think this is totally not healthy… being under such pressure, it can actually effect my health.. hahahha.. Call me over-reacted, but I’m not the only 1 who’s complaining... Ask my colleagues, u’ll know d answer... :P

Hmm… some of my friends claimed that I’m kind of secretive when it comes to relationship, wedding planning etc.. to me, it’s not about keeping secret or hiding it.. Of course I’m happy with it and want d whole world to share our happiness. It’s just a matter of time.. Just waiting for everything to be in place, InsyaAllah, then only the announcement follows... (hehehhe.. macam artis plak..)

Why I chose him? Well, one thing for sure, luv isn’t about choosing. If I can choose with whom I want to fall in luv with, to me it’s not luv anymore.. Because luv comes naturally.. tho how hard you tried, you can never b true to urself if u deny ur own feelings.. This was when I knew that he’s the one.. Of course I can never be too sure. But it is worth to take such risk for someone who treats u like a princess an sees only d best in u..

Love isn't a decision. It's a feeling. If we could decide who we loved, it would be simpler, but much less magical. Trey Parker & Matt Stone; South Park, Chef Aid, 1998

When we 1st met, I’ve felt that ‘something’.. I don’t know who named it, but they call it ‘chemistry’.. I don’t know whether that word is good enuff to describe my feeling at that point of time… He was sitting there with his drink, being himself without trying to impress me at all.. His coldness attracted my attention then.. We spent hours of talking and I cant wait for our 2nd date. Actually, we neither think alike nor have the same interest. It’s like 2 strangers from different part of the world.. But we completed each other; it’s like having another side of me. Since then, we managed to get thru everythin’… I’ve accepted what jodoh is, ketetapan Allah SWT, my destiny that has been set, and will accept what my future is going to be.

Ask my housemates n CC on how we’d fought n argued.. It has been a lot and I know, it’s still lots more to go.. N I did say awful words to him eventho I didn’t really signify it, I cant imagine how hard he has been hurt by that. But he’s still there.. luving me with all his heart. I hope he will alwiz be… InsyaAllah.. God’s willing.. Hope we’ll be together till death do us part.. Or maybe we can die together.. :P

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I cant picture my life without him and his, without me.. I know even without each other, we will survive coz tht’s wht human beings do... S.U.R.V.I.V.E. But it will never be the same... Semoga jodoh ini berpanjangan dan berkekalan, Aminnn…

He has seen me in my highest high and my lowest low… He accepts me for who I am and doesn’t even try to change it. Luv is all he has and gives. He makes me realize, when we want our luv ones to be what they are not, it’s not luv anymore.. it’s compromise.. it’s negotiation… And I don’t want that…

To be brave is to love someone unconditionally, without expecting anything in return... to just give. Madonna, O Magazine January 2004.

I do admit, there are lots of people who just seem to see this is not right. Trust me, I'm not blinded by luv.. How can they tell that it’s not right when they themselves doesn’t even know and understand what is right and what is wrong… No matter how gud u think u r, they’ll alwiz be someone who think that it is not gud enuff. I don’t care what other people say anymore. In my quest for happiness, I’m d master of my own… It’s my call… I cant stop people from saying bad things. Bad mouthing is just another nature of human beings… True friend is actually the one who supports your decision and alwiz be by your side. And if you fall, they’ll give their hand for you to reach to… Not looking at you with satisfaction n laugh…

Hope that the blessings of all will alwiz be wth us. From a friend; LOVE IS...that nausea tic feeling when he's away and adrenaline rush when he’s near…

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P/s - To all d lovers out there, cherish every moment you have together.. Thank you Allah, for luv n life, for friends n families, for sad n joy....