Thursday, June 7, 2012

Because we're special..

Last Saturday, hubby attended a wedding. Since the bride and groom are his good friends, he went for the solemnization ceremony as well.

As for the kids and I, I decided to bring them for some fun and it needs to be somewhere near since I wont be around on Sunday for work related matters. Further, it was a public holiday hence there was no therapy for Rayyan Ariff.
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We brought him to Berjaya Time Square Theme Park and when we got there, he was happily walking around with us holding one of his hands.

After a while, he lifted his hands and asked to be carried. It was pretty strange for him to do that as in the norm, he really enjoy his walking sessions.

After a very long queue for entry tickets, we went to McD to wait for my sister. Rayyan Ariff again refused to walk. Even worse, he refused to put his left foot down. No weight bearing. No step taking. In just a few minutes apart, he started crying.

I was panicking as I thought there was something wrong with his left foot. Bitten by something? Accidently cut by something? As I was pressing the sole of his foot, my heart cried to see that he was helplessly crying and trying to pull his leg away as a gesture of asking me to stop pressing his foot sole.

Then I looked at his little toe, it was really red and a bit swollen. That particular moment, I knew it was his shoes! It's too tight for him! We bought the shoes last year for RM700 and I know that it will be just a matter of time for us to get a new one since children tends to outgrow their shoes and clothes pretty fast.

Since it is a special shoes, I dont really know what would the sign of tightness be as it needs to be worn tightly. I did ask Sarjit to check it a week before whether it needs to be changed or not and according to Sarjit, it is still OK.

I was so sad when this thing happened. This whole thing made me realised one thing, my toddler is so helpless that he could not even tell me that his shoes were too tight for him. When my heart was silently crying in sadness, I told myself, "I will work on something and double my effort. I will make sure one day you'll be able to tell me if you're in pain or discomfort. I will try my best."

Upon shouting those words in my mind, I felt like I've been hit on my head again!

"This is the reason why He gives you a special child like Rayyan Ariff. Because giving up is a big no for you! Cry no more because you are special, too.."

Yes, that's my promise to you son. To be more proactive.

A promise.

This is how we spell our life, S-P-E-C-I-A-L

La Tahzan.

7 comments:

yatie chomeyl said...

insya Allah, one fine day abe Ian will be able to tell you his needs...I'll pray for that moment soon

BondaRyan said...

assalammualaikum kak..

saya adelah seorang silent follower akk n sgt admirer dgn ketabahan akk n suami..tak terkecuali pada rayyan arif. Ketabahan kamu semua sekarang menjadi inspirasi pada saya. Kesyukuran saya panjatkan kerana ketabahan kamu banyak membuka mata saya utk terus bersyukur dgn apa yang saya miliki...alhamdulilah.

Mamanurin said...

Jiey, insyallah u will and rayyan also will. moga allah kuatkan jiey dan juga rayyan..sedih pula entry

Anonymous said...

kak, menitik air mata saya bila baca entri ni.

ms. HMS said...

Assalamualaikum sis. Terasa ingin mencoret sesuatu di sini setelah sekian lama menjadi silent reader blog sis. Semenjak rayyan ariff lahir hingga ke saat ini, setiap entry sis pasti buat sy menitiskan airmata. terasa setiap bait kata yang sis coretkan menusuk ke dalam jiwa dan sanubari. Allahu Akbar. Allah takberi ujian melainkan dengan kesanggupan hambaNya (albaqarah:286). Sy berumur 20tahun dan seorang pelajar. Melihat ketabahan rayyan ariff dan sis sekeluarga membuatkan sy bertambah kuat. Disahkan doc mengidap penyakit diabetes mellitus type 1 hampir setahun yang lepas, cukup buatkan sy terpana seketika. sy merupakan anak tunggal dalam keluarga, satu2nya harapan ibuayah. apabila disahkan mengidap penyakit itu, sy dapat lihat kerisauan yang jelas terpancar di wajah kedua org tua sy. mereka sihat, tiada penyakit berbahaya, dan sy dapat penyakit ini bukan disebabkan keturunan. beta cell dalam pankreas sy sudah hilang keimunannya dan tidak mampu menghasilkan insulin seperti manusia biasa dan hidup sy bergantung dengan suntikan 2kali sehari dan pengambilan ubat secara oral. pada mulanya, amat sukar untuk sy menerima kenyataan. Allah.. Allah Maha Berkuasa. Dia beri sy sakit dan dalam masa yang sama Dia kabulkan doa sy. Dia beri sy jurusan yg sy idam2kan untuk pengajian ijazah, Dia beri sy peluang merasai manisnya mendapat anugerah kepujian dekan dan bermacam lagi perkara indah yg sy takpernah jangkakan selama ini. Lama sy duduk berfikir, inilah teguran Allah yang paling sweet pd sy. Dia beri sy sakit supaya sy tahu yang Dia masih perhatikan sy, dan Dia mahukan sy seiringkan akhirat bersama dunia. Melihat senyuman kedua ibuayah sy membuatkan sy bersemangat. sy tau sy harus kuat dalam apa jua dugaanNya kerana hidup mati sy milik Allah sepenuhnya. yg ada sekarang hanya pinjaman seketika. dan pada sis sekeluarga, sy harap sis sekeluarga sentiasa kuat dgn cubaan Allah. rayyan ariff, indah namanya seindah pekertinya. sy ceritakan kisah sy yg tidak seberapa hny sekadar perkongsian. Allah masih beri cubaan pada kita tanda Dia masih perhatian pd kita. andai perhatian itu hilang, apa mungkin kita mampu gapai syurgaNya.. "maka nikmat Rabb (Tuhan) kamu yang manakah yang kamu dustakan?"(arRahman :13)

"bukan mudah melukis pelangi di langit yang tertinggi tanpa hadir gerimis dan sinar mentari yang mengiringi.. bukan mudah memiliki mutiara kasih tanpa diselami lubuk hati nurani ke dasar rasa yang paling dalam"

moga Allah merahmati sis sekeluarga. doa sy semoga rayyan ariff menjadi seorang khalifah Allah yang terbaek, macam mana pun dia, bagaimana pun dia, rayyan ariff adalah permata yg sgt berharga. man jadda wajadda. Allahu Akbar.

ieda said...

the same thing happened to nabila when she was around 3 yrs old...masa tu dia ligat berjalan.akak bagi dia kasut croc sb nampak selesa..tp bukan yg ori lah..masa jamuan raya kat sebuah dewan tu dia berlari sana sini..happy sungguh.

tapi sebelum balik tu dia tak mau berjalan.akak tak perasan.ingatkan dia cuma letih.dah malam lagipun.esoknya baru tengok betul2 kat kaki dia...ada kesan melecet rupanya di dua2 kaki sebab kulit bergesel dgn button yg ada kat kasut tu..rasa bersalah pun ada sebab bg dia pakai kasut tu...that was the first & last...now seliper memanjang.
hanya pengalaman dapat mengajar kita...

moga abang rayyan cepat sembuh yer..

Miss Fadhilah said...

besarnya pahala mjaga anak syurga nih...ian semoga kamu sentiasa berada dlm rahmatNya