It has been a while since my last post @KKK. Honestly, I’m a bit emotionally unstable since the past 2 weeks. Blame it on PMS, pleaseee.. Hehehe..
This boy will be 5yo this Sunday and it bothers me that some of my targets for him seem so impossible to be achieved (by Sunday, of course!). I was frustrated because of it. It feels like I haven’t done enough as a mother. I keep on praying for strength and miracle. I keep on praying for him.
Bila Allah SWT masih belum kabulkan doa kita, Dia masih mahu menduga. Alhamdulillah, kami terpilih untuk diuji. Alhamdulillah, besarnya pandangan Dia pada kami sehingga kami terpilih.
I love this boy so much. Lillahi Ta’ala. Sayang demi Allah. Indescribable. Unconditional. We share a strong feeling for each other; it could be chemistry between a mother and her firstborn.
When I’m worry or sad, he always know how to calm me down.
This morning, I held his hand softly while I was driving, as an effort to find the peace and strength that I was looking for. I forgot to salam and wave goodbye to him after he got down from the car. I was not looking at him. My mind was everywhere, except with him. The moment I lifted my head up, I saw my pretty baby boy was happily smiling at me, his right hand was moving to the left and right, “waving goodbye” to me. He stopped for a while and gave me flying kisses. One after another. Both his teacher and I were in awed looking at his voluntary flying kisses. Usually, I would be the one who initiate the waving and flying kisses and he will follow suit.
I smiled and started waving my hands back to him, and gave him flying kisses as well. There and then, I regained my strength. He is so beautiful inside out. Every sweat and teardrop that we shed for him is so worth it. I know that he has so much to offer and that I just need to continue doing my part; being a mother!
Terima kasih tuhan, untuk seorang putera dari syurga!