Thursday, March 29, 2007

wHeN lUv iS iN d Air

Entry from my previous blog

I don’t know where to begin… I feel like writing since all d work tht I’m doing is starting to give me headache… Looking from one angle, I think this is totally not healthy… being under such pressure, it can actually effect my health.. hahahha.. Call me over-reacted, but I’m not the only 1 who’s complaining... Ask my colleagues, u’ll know d answer... :P

Hmm… some of my friends claimed that I’m kind of secretive when it comes to relationship, wedding planning etc.. to me, it’s not about keeping secret or hiding it.. Of course I’m happy with it and want d whole world to share our happiness. It’s just a matter of time.. Just waiting for everything to be in place, InsyaAllah, then only the announcement follows... (hehehhe.. macam artis plak..)

Why I chose him? Well, one thing for sure, luv isn’t about choosing. If I can choose with whom I want to fall in luv with, to me it’s not luv anymore.. Because luv comes naturally.. tho how hard you tried, you can never b true to urself if u deny ur own feelings.. This was when I knew that he’s the one.. Of course I can never be too sure. But it is worth to take such risk for someone who treats u like a princess an sees only d best in u..

Love isn't a decision. It's a feeling. If we could decide who we loved, it would be simpler, but much less magical. Trey Parker & Matt Stone; South Park, Chef Aid, 1998

When we 1st met, I’ve felt that ‘something’.. I don’t know who named it, but they call it ‘chemistry’.. I don’t know whether that word is good enuff to describe my feeling at that point of time… He was sitting there with his drink, being himself without trying to impress me at all.. His coldness attracted my attention then.. We spent hours of talking and I cant wait for our 2nd date. Actually, we neither think alike nor have the same interest. It’s like 2 strangers from different part of the world.. But we completed each other; it’s like having another side of me. Since then, we managed to get thru everythin’… I’ve accepted what jodoh is, ketetapan Allah SWT, my destiny that has been set, and will accept what my future is going to be.

Ask my housemates n CC on how we’d fought n argued.. It has been a lot and I know, it’s still lots more to go.. N I did say awful words to him eventho I didn’t really signify it, I cant imagine how hard he has been hurt by that. But he’s still there.. luving me with all his heart. I hope he will alwiz be… InsyaAllah.. God’s willing.. Hope we’ll be together till death do us part.. Or maybe we can die together.. :P
I cant picture my life without him and his, without me.. I know even without each other, we will survive coz tht’s wht human beings do... S.U.R.V.I.V.E. But it will never be the same... Semoga jodoh ini berpanjangan dan berkekalan, Aminnn…

He has seen me in my highest high and my lowest low… He accepts me for who I am and doesn’t even try to change it. Luv is all he has and gives. He makes me realize, when we want our luv ones to be what they are not, it’s not luv anymore.. it’s compromise.. it’s negotiation… And I don’t want that…

To be brave is to love someone unconditionally, without expecting anything in return... to just give. Madonna, O Magazine January 2004.

I do admit, there are lots of people who just seem to see this is not right. Trust me, I'm not blinded by luv.. How can they tell that it’s not right when they themselves doesn’t even know and understand what is right and what is wrong… No matter how gud u think u r, they’ll alwiz be someone who think that it is not gud enuff. I don’t care what other people say anymore. In my quest for happiness, I’m d master of my own… It’s my call… I cant stop people from saying bad things. Bad mouthing is just another nature of human beings… True friend is actually the one who supports your decision and alwiz be by your side. And if you fall, they’ll give their hand for you to reach to… Not looking at you with satisfaction n laugh…

Hope that the blessings of all will alwiz be wth us. From a friend; LOVE IS...that nausea tic feeling when he's away and adrenaline rush when he’s near…

P/s - To all d lovers out there, cherish every moment you have together.. Thank you Allah, for luv n life, for friends n families, for sad n joy....