Rezeki anak

Kata orang, setiap anak yang lahir ni, ada rezekinya yang tersendiri.. Well, I think it's true. When we 1st knw bout Ian, rs takut juga dari segi perbelanjaan yang bakal kami tanggung nanti.. For the tests that we took i.e. karyotyping n amniocentesis, the cost was quite high - samples were sent to Singapore GH, tu yg mahal tu kott... For c-section pn agak tinggi jgk (padan la dgn service yang diberi kottt).. And luckily, Ian's medical cost is fully covered by my company - Bleh dpt kondo sebijik k! Besides my company, thanks to Tan Sri Azman Hashim of Yayasan AmBank (company ayah plak) yang willing to contribute RM35K from the total cost.

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Masa tu, puas jugak pikir, camne la nk cari duit ni.. Tu pun nasib baik xyah pikir pasal cost Ian. Tp macam yang saya mentioned earlier, ada sahaja rezeki dari Allah SWT. Alhamdulillah, we managed to get thru it.

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Dan rezeki Ian x berhenti di situ, orang2 yang datang melawat and duit raya yang orang bagi, the collection is about Rm3k++.. Alhamdulillah.. Ini yang dikatakan rezeki.. Skrg tgh pikir, nak letak kat Tabung Haji ke, dekat SSPN. Which one ek???

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Besides all the gifts he received when he was born, Ian is still getting hadiah from his aunties and uncles.. And the latest is from Auntie Fadia.. Thanks Auntie Ya.. 3 pasang baju tido Pureen, 2 helai jeans Baby kiko & 2 helai t-shirt Baby Kiko.. Sangat cute.. Comel. Especially the yellow one!! Segan tau mama nak amik.. (Tp amik gak...)

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Another thing, a BUMBO CHAIR!!! Beria benar mama ajak ayah Ian gi Summit. Kat babyland, the price is like.. GILERRR MURAHHH.. RM99.90 for a bumbo chair?? Sgt la menarik.. Terus gi beli.. Only 3 colors available - purple, green n yellow.. Hahhaha.. Mama sure la ambik purple kan..

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My colleague knw that I wanna buy a bumbo chair for Ian. I knw that littlewhiz got special offer i.e. RM199.90 for a bumbo chair with tray. Dh excited nak beli tp last friday morning, my colleague ni beria bgtau.. Siap cut newspaper ad tu lagi.. And I called Babyland SS2 to ask bout the chair.. Org kedai tu ckp, "Oo.. This is very special price one.. under cost maa.. you better hurry la.. Not much left.."

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By lunch hour tuh dh gatal nk gi SS2 since it's not that far from my offc.. Lg pun, friday kan lunch hour 2 jam.. Tp xde geng.. So I have to wait la.. Impatiently.. Hahahha.. (Bukan ape, takut abess!!).. Esoknya, sampai jer kat Summit, x nyempat.. Perut lapa, tp gi jer Babyland dulu.. Huishhh.. Penuh ha.. Byk lg! Poyo betul!!

Ian & his Che Su.. Che Su has been taking care of Ian since nenek blk.. Thanks yea!!! As you can see, Ian is still struggling in holding his head up straight.. Still need help.. Hopefully the chair can make him a bit 'rajin' to control his head on his own- like what his physiotherapist said!

Ian @ Summit

P/s - Mintak2 la nnt Allah SWT kurniakan babysitter / maid yang baik hati & penyayang utk jaga Ian.. I'll be going to Indonesia to 'interview' one lady by the end od december.. Hehheheh.. Sape kate hanya company saya wat recruitment drive kat oversea?? Saya pun buat la.. Hahhhaha..

Bukan xnk amik thru agent, tp kata org, kalau kita kenal rumah, tgk keadaan kehidupan dia sdr, lain.. kita bleh buat penilaian!! Sekiannnn.. Wassalam..

Special child from heaven..

I found this sweet poem on a very special blog.. I really admire the author.. She always has good things to say and I can say that she has inspired lots of peoples thru her writing.. I wish one day I cud be like her..

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Heaven's Very Special Child

A meeting was held quite far from earth
"It's time again for another birth"
Said the angels to the Lord above.
"This special child will need much love.

Her progress may seem slow,
Accomplishments she may not show,
And she'll require much extra care
From the folks she meets down there.

She may not run or laugh or play
Her thoughts may seem quite far away.
In many ways she won't adapt...
And she'll be known as "handicapped".

So let's be careful where she's sent.
We want her life to be content.
Please, Lord, find the parents who
Will do a special job for you.

They will not realize right away
The leading role they're asked to play
But with this child sent from above
Comes stronger faith and richer love.

And soon they'll know the privilege given
In caring for this gift from heaven,
Their precious charge so meek and mild
Is heaven's very special child.

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P/s - Received good news from Ian's Dr. today.. Told ya my boy is a fighter!! InsyaAllah he'll continue to be better..

Tagged by Ibu Ammar.. #2

Tag tentang 7 perkara..

7 ciri wanita/lelaki idaman anda

1. Sembahyang 5 waktu
2. Putih (tp xnk terlampau putih.. so-so la..)
3. Tinggi
4. Tak kedekut (penting nihhhh!!)
5. Pandai bawak diri
6. Cemburu (rs diri disayangi tau!!)

7. Bijak

7 Lelaki yang pernah anda minati sepanjang hidup

1. Sayuti - Ni masa tadika nih.. (Gatai ka?? Hehhehe).. Me n Ninie siap dok tepi padang nak bg support kat Sayuti masa dia main kejar2 ngan kawan dia.. "Cepat Sayuti, cepat.." Jerit kami dengan nada yang poyo.. Muahhaha..

2. NAFNA - My senior in secondary school.. Syok gila2.. X dpt tgk org, tgk motor pun jd la..

3. En. Nazir - lecturer masa kat kolej (Kepala dia botak licin, tp suka gak.. mesti sbb dia ni putih!)

4. Freddie Prinze Jr - I lurveee his lips.. Sexy youuu.. NgehNgehNgeh

5. Norman KRU - Rasa nak gi pinang dia nih dulu.. Tp apakan daya, pipit dan enggang x mungkin terbang bersama.. (Chuppp!! Saya nak jd pipit!!!)

6. Apple AA - Budak offc saya.. Sy suka dia mesti sbb dia nih bijak n muka ala2 smart gituh..

7. Tuan Alimin Tuan Ibrahim - When we first met, I have all the reason to hate you. And yet, I chose to love you. Actually, I didnt choose you.. It's jodoh who do the talking.. "Love isn't a decision. It's a feeling. If we could decide who we loved, it would be simpler, but much less magical." Trey Parker & Matt Stone; South Park, Chef Aid, 1998

7 perasaan sekiranya keluar dengan seseorang yang anda minati

1. Berdebar bagai nk luruh jantung
2. Happy macam br lepas dapat A utk subject accounting
3. Cuak coz I'll be wondering ape la yang dia pikir pasal saya ni
4. Sopan-santun - Kalau dia order burger, harus saya makan satu2.. Mula2 roti, pastu daging, pastu roti yang plg bawah.. Hehhhee.. Hipokrit! Pada hal, Big Mac tuh is my favorite!!
5. Hati berlagu riang - Oh manisnya, manisnya senyumanmu.. Ku rasa satu dunia.. Lalalla.. (Sambung sdr!)
6. Xnk blk. Dok berumahtangga kat situ pun xpe.. Janji dgn dirimu duhai kasih..
7. Takut. Takut baju yg dipakai ms tu x kena dgn selera dia.. Huahuahua..

7 tempat istimewa yang ingin dilawati bersama pasangan anda

1. InsyaAllah, tanah suci Mekah..
2. Bali - We suppose to go there for our honeymoon, tp ada halangan.. Pls refer to my old post
3. Cherating - Walaupun dekat, still, byk halangan.. InsyaAllah by next year.. Maybe weekend jer coz kami terpaksa menabung cuti for Ian's check up.
4. Mauritius - Cam cantik jer..
Sebenarnya, dh xde dh.. Since nk cukupkan 7, saya pilih:-
5. Kota Bharu - Sy ingin tunjukkan pada hubby tempat2 lepak saya dulu.. Sekolah saya, kedai kopi yg selalu sy n kwn2 lepak smbil makan breakfast (gile org pompuan lepak kedai kpi), restaurant kegemaran saya kat sana.. N byk lg la.. Tiap kali blk asyik x sempat jerrr!!
6. Delifrance BB - tempat 1st kitorg dating dulu.. Last gi ms dlm bulan pose.. (Kira ke??)
7. Haaaaa.. Saya tau, gi Sipadan ok gak kan??? Tp sy xnk snorkeling.. I just want to feel the sand under my feet - PD tak kira k..

7 barangan/sesuatu istimewa yang mungkin akan anda hadiahkan pada pasangan anda

1. Sport rim baru..
2. Car seat recaro baru..
3. Kasut Dr.Cardin baru gak..
4. HP baru..
5. Wallet baru..
6. DVD player utlk kete dia..
7. Repaint kete n letak sticker skali..
Yeaa.. Suamiku gile kete.. Semua pun baru, mn ade org nk bg barang lama ekkk???

7 tajuk lagu yang akan anda nyanyikan untuk pasangan anda

1. Mencintaimu by Kris Dayanti.. I've sang this song to him b4.. Suara sy bleh tahan gak tau.. Dulu pernah terpilih utk koir wakil kebangsaan ker negeri.. ntah.. lupa.. hehhehe.. perasan!
2. Ayat2 cinta - Suka lagu ni..
3. Everything i do, I do it for you - Sj nk remind dia yg dia penah tujukan lagu ni utk saya..
4. Dealova - Masih dgn tujuan yang sama spt di atas
5. Seribu tahun - Syahdu woo lagu ni.. Ms ni baru tau pasal condition Ian.,
6. Hanya engkau yang mampu - Sama dgn reason no.5
7. Bertakhta di hati by Farahdhiya.. Hanya utkmu wahai sang suami..

Tag 7 rakan yang anda mahu mereka buat PERIHAL 7 ini

1. Cik Silveracid
2. Cik Nellyberry
3. Missdreamcatcher
4. Miazai
5. Ummi Nuha
6. Cik Mekputih
7. Cik Messy Fadia

P/s - Byk dh di tagged by Ibu Ammar ni.. Kena balas nih.. hehhehhe.. Errr Pn Yana, yang tag toys tu x payah kan?? kan??

Tagged by Ibu Amar..

I dont have lots of photo during my pregnancy. But I love being pregnant. I got to carry my baby 24-7 and talk to him all the time (even in the toilet).. I guess mommy must had felt the same when she was carrying me.. And the best part is; being pampered by hubby and everyone around me. I also think that pregnant woman is sexy and pretty.. Cant wait to get pregnant again!

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Walaupun pengalaman mengandungkan Rayyan penuh dgn air mata, debaran dan ketakutan, I can't deny the fact that I feel complete bila saya berpeluang mengandung dan melahirkan.. Since my pregnancy story was extraordinary, I only have a few photos.. Here goes..

4 months..

7 months pregnant..

6 months pregnant.. (Saya rendang dan gumuk.. hubby saya 'org besar')

Kulit muka saya sangat cantik masa pregnant.. smpikan org tanya produk apa yang saya pki. Sungguh saya x pki apa2.. Cuci muka pun malas.. Mungkin pembawakan budak kot.. Tp bila jer Ian lahir, muka saya kembali dipenuhi noda.. Muahahha.. Another thing yang buatkan saya tak suka ambik gambar is, sy sangat selekeh ms pregnant.. I cant wear tudung.. Pki tudung, sy muntah.. Masuk 4 bln stgh baru boleh pki.. Tu pun kena pki loose jer.. Kata adik saya, baby saya mesti boy coz xleh pki tudung.. Hehhehhe.. Btul la..

1. Berat b4 pregnant - 58kg(sy mengalami kenaikan berat badan yang mendadak lepas kawen.. Muahhaha.. Saya happy dan terlebih diberi makan oleh sang suami!!)

2. B4 deliver - 74kg (ni baru 31 weeks nih, kalo kata saya deliver cukup bulan cam org lain, mau sama besar ngan Perdana merah hubby.. Muahhahaha..

3. Lepas pantang - 60kg.. Adakah saya harus diet?? Yup!! Harus!! Harus!! - Tahun dpn la start..

4. My fav food ms pregnant - orange juice & nasi ayam.. X muak mkn tiap2 hari pun..

5. Bersalin kat Pantai Medical Centre, Bangsar.. (Kopak wehhh)

6. Gambor dh tunjuk dh kat atas..

Sape yg sy nak tag??? Ummi Nuha, mommy of triplets (teringin nk tgk gambar munirah ms pregnant.. Sure slim jer..), Kak Linda & Kak Pnut..

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P/s - Gambar masa saya kat PMC b4 masuk OT & gambar2 n video2 Ian masa baru lahir semua dh xde.. Syg sangat2.. Laptop 'besar' saya nih buat onar.. Sgt sedih.. Nyesal x wat back-up awal.. Plg saya sayang, gambar ms saya dpt dukung Ian for the 1st time..(muka Ian sgt x kiut ms tuh, cam ultraman.. hehhehhe.. - hubby marah sy pggl Ian ultraman!)

Weekend with family and friends..

Had a makan2 last night.. Penat mmg penat but we had a great time changing stories and giving updates on what's happening in our live..

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At first, Syila told me she wanna come to my hse. Since I need to cook for Syila n hubby, might as well I invite other uni-mates as well.. Then I gave the gang a call. But only Nurul n Yantie are available. So it's just going to be the 3 of us (of course la with our family kan..). Dh besar anak Syila.. Cumil sgt.. Putih benar.. La, bila aku dh ade baby gal nnt, aku chupp "Manja" ko wat menantu tauuuu!!"

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Coz I still have hutang spaghetti with Fad, I invited her and E skali.. The best part is, Lily pn ada. So she also tagged along.. The food was great.. We had Spaghetti, nasi goreng, satay, popiah, cucur, big apple donut, secret recipe's rasberry cheese cake, and fruits.. Tak byk, tp mmg full la..

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Seronok hidup dikelilingi oleh org yang kita sayang!! Wish my gewe was wth us.. Tp coz it was last minute and I was thinking of having my uni-mate only, tu yg x ajak tuh.. Huhuhu.. Sori gewe n young.. Saya hutang kamu spaghetti yea..

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That's all for today.. Pasni ade invitation kat umah my colleague plak.. Leh bwk Ian jln kat tasik Putrajaya yg glamer nun.. Hehhehe..

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P/s - I wish, in the future, I cud spend more time with the peoples that I love and love me in return!! Cheers to Luv, family and friendshippp.. Errr, maybe pasni bleh wat gath ngan online friends plakkk??? Hehehhehe..

Baby hates milk!!

Kata orang, susu ni rezeki baby.. Ada yg dpt fully breastfeed baby dia.. Ada yg x dpt.. Dh xde rezeki nak wat camne.. Only once je I got to breastfeed Ian.. Just leave it at that la.. Malas nk cerita lebih2.. Kang syahdu plak..

We've been giving Similac Neosure to Ian. Special formula for premiee.. Out of the sudden, he refused to drink his milk.. More than 1 week we struggled so hard just to feed him. His weight dropped about 200gm in 2 weeks.

We didnt go to see his paed. Just went to see Dr biasa jer.. Dr tu bleh argue ngan kitorg. Kata maybe baby x lapar.. X percaya yang baby xnak minum susu.. Bila kitorg tunjuk video nih.. Terus diam.. In this recording, last dia minum kul 11am (tu pun habis 4oz coz dia tgh mamai) and masa ni kul 7PM. Takkan x lapar kottt..

Then I called NICU PMC, one of the nurse there asked me to change to new fm.. Maybe he's bored with the taste alreay.. So he wants something different. Then we changed to Enfalac A+.. 1st for premie tp Ian dpt constipation plak.. So now, he's taking Enfalac A+ utk baby biasa dah..

Ceritanya kat sini, ada dua tin susu yang baru bukak. Baru guna sikit jer.. Sayang sangat kalau nk buang. Nak bagi pn, mmg Ian xnk.. Drpd membazir, saya nak tanya la sket, kalo ade sesape yg nak or tau sape2 yg nak, pls let me know. Kita smpi terlebih susu.. Ank kat Somalia sana tuh kurus kering x cukup mkn.. Betul, baru terusik sket jer.. Bukan nak jual, nk bg jer.. Similac Neosure & Enfalac A+ Rumusan Bayi Khas Pramatang.

P/s - Tolong yea khabarkan pd sesiapa yang berminat. Sekiannnn...

Diaper bag???

Tag secara tak lgsg.. Thru ths I gt to knw Ummi Nuha. Jom check out what's in Ian's diaper bag.

Dulu pki diaper bag Anakku. Since x cukup trendy, mama bought this one. Bkn diaper bag pun.. Tp senang guna handbag besar gedabak nih coz mama xyah bwk handbag dh kalo jln2.. Ni lah dia..
Isinya seperti biasa la.. Diapers, rompers, socks, towel, baby wipes, tissues & Yu Yee Oil. Yg lupa nak masuk skali ialah lotion.. Bedak mmg xde, Ian x pki bedak. Kata Dr, not advisable.. Macam2 la.. Mommy kata, kitorang dulu semua pki bedak.. Besar jugak..

Flask air, botol susu (jumlah depends on brp lama nak berjalan-jalan), milk powder dispenser & the most important thing is PACIFIER. Itu je la..

P/s - K la, ni jer.. tggl 1 hutang tag lama ngan Cik Silveracid, belom dijwb. Dh bersarang kat draft..

Long distance journey???

Hurmmm.. Our first long distance journey is from KL to KB. Memang sadis.. With Ian's reflux problem (which has now totally dissaper, Alhamdulillah..), the 10 hours journey is soo not for him- (I guess not just him la.. Mana2 baby pn xnak!!) Normally Ayah will take bout six hours to reach KB frm KL, tp dgn Ian, dpt discount sket.. Hehhehe.. Byk kali gak la berhenti.. Tu yg mama dia nyesal wat keputusan bodoh anta Ian blk KB tuh..

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The 2nd one is, when we brought him back to KL. Ya Allah.. He was crying almost throughout the journey. Memang tersangat2 la seksa. Smpi mama pun meraung2 sama.. (Mama kena marah ngan ayah masa nih. Ayah mmg x faham naluri ibu nih.. Bukan mengada, tp rs guilty!)

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Muka cuak ayah.. Baru dia tau susah nak handle baby nangis.. (Dia ingt mama sesaje je nk ikut nangis..)

Ni kat Kuala Krai. Gerai sape ntah.. Bila 'Annuar Zain' dah start tarik suara, hentam je la berenti kat mana2.. (Nasib baik ada pakcik ni tlg baca2 sket, diam le kejap)

Ni plak kat Gua Musang. Ian wat muke kesian kat mama dia.. "Mama, jauh lagi ke?? Penat la.."

Berbekal rs bersalah tgk muka Ian, saya dh ckp ngan hubby kita xyah blk KB smpi Ian umur setahun. Tp, atuk plak dh sound awal2 yang dia nak wat akikah Ian raja haji nih.. Huhuhuhu.. Serba salah jugak. Tp, the best part is, atuk belanja. Every single thing. Camne ekkk?? Saya tau, atuk rindu Ian.. Tu yang suh balik tuh. Nak dtg KL, keje plak tak mengizinkan. Sangat2 serba salah.. Kesian kat Ian, kesian kat abah saya n kesian gak kat hubby.. Poning la pikir..

Nape ekk Ian susah naik kete?? Kalau ikut kata mommyoftriplets dalam entri ni, this is what we call, MOTION SICKNESS.. Iye la kott..

P/s - Kata pakcik yang tlg jampi2 tuh, kalau nak bwk baby jln jauh2, letak Surah Yassin kat bawah bantal. Pastu letak bungkusan kecil garam kat atas kepala baby. Ayah pun bersungguh2 gi mintak garam sket dgn gerai sebelah yg bukak.. Ikut je la petua org tua2 nih.. Tak rugi pun..

Babies are; sensitive!!

I don’t know bout others, but I just feel that babies are sensitive. They’re sensitive at their surroundings, peoples around them, things that they ate and many more.

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After spending 45 days in NICU PMC, it’s time to go home for Ian. Since my confinement period is over, mommy went back to KB. So I stayed at home with Ian. Although I don’t have any experience in handling baby (especially premiee who’s much smaller than term baby), I managed to take care of Ian all by myself (naluri keibuan, semulajadi la tuh..)

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Then, after I’ve finished my maternity leave, I utilized my annual leave. So altogether, I was at home for 3 months. When it’s time to go back to work, of course I didn’t feel comfortable letting anyone else take care of my small and tiny baby except for my mommy. So, I asked for mommy’s favor to come and take care of Ian for a month. And she agreed.

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Masa pantas berlalu. One month passed by and it’s time for mommy to go back home. Still, hubby and I were reluctant to let anyone else to take care of our baby. Since it’s fasting month, I can’t ask mommy to stay for another more month coz she needs to cook for sahur for abah and my sister. Fair enough. Although we find it hard to do it, we still did what we have to do. We sent Ian back to KB so that mommy can still look after him. Luckily, there’s no doctor(s) appointment during that time.

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It was a day before puasa that we sent Ian to KB. We were thinking of going back the next morning but my aunt advised us to stay for another day just to make sure Ian is ok. After staying for one more day, we came back to KL.

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Later at night, I called mommy to check on Ian. She told me that at around 7pm, Ian started to cry. It’s actually the time that we usually reached home from office. Kata mommy, tangisan yang cukup syahdu. Tangisan kerinduan mungkin. It happened for 3 days. After that, Ian managed to survive without his parents by his side. Tapi kitorg x miss blk jenguk Ian. Every weekend walaupun jauh n penat.

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After raya, we brought him back to KL because he has his appointment with his ophthalmologist (this is the time that the Dr. confirmed that Ian can see!!). Sepanjang perjalanan Ian menagis. And it doesn’t stop there. Kat rumah pun Ian nangis kuat. The only way to make him diam is to call abah and let him talk to Ian. Ian was so close with his Atuk when he was in KB. Kalau nk tido, mesti nk atuk yang dodoi. Borak dgn atuk bukan main byk. Sampai skrg atuk selalu sebut nak suruh Ian duduk ngan dia. But it’s not that easy. All his doctors are here. X sedap plak nak bertukar tangan. Besides, mama and ayah pun x sanggup nak pisah dgn Ian. Ian cried so loud. I remember the only time when he cried like that was, before he went for his 3rd operation. Dr. x jumpe cari urat nak cucuk coz terlampau byk dh bahagian yang kena cucuk utk masukkan ubat n air.

When Ian cried, I also cried. Bukan ngada2, tapi rs guilty. Elok2 duduk dgn kitorg, sibuk nk anta balik kampong. Bila Ian dah selesa kat kampong, sibuk nak bwk blk. Tak faham psikologi budak lgsg! Smpi hati dera perasaan anak sdr.

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After that, Wan and Atuk Rawang took care of Ian for 2 weeks or 9 working days to be exact. Then mommy came to babysit Ian again. Once again, one month passed by really fast. Hari ni, mommy blk Kb coz she has appointment with her Dr. next week. And my sister, will take care of Ian for a month.

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Since td saya masuk office lewat coz antar mommy, ingat nak cover dengan blk lambat sket. Around 430pm, I received a call from my sister. She told me that Ian is crying. Non-stop and it’s very loud. I asked my sister to put on loud speaker and let me talk to Ian. I told Ian not to cry and not to be sad. Nenek is just going home for a month. As what I’ve expected, he listened and stopped crying. The moment I hung up the phone, my sister said that he cried again. I asked my sister to give Ian one of kain batik nenek as a pengubat rindu. It worked. He fell asleep.

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Worried that he might starts to cry again, I rushed back home. Nasib baik, elok je saya sampai, Ian woke up and start to cry again. Bila tgk mama dia, terus ok. He’s been a bit cranky since petang td. Bila dpt ckp dgn nenek, makin mendayu la tangisan dia.. Syahdu sebenarnya.. Siyan Ian. How I wish I could just take a year off just to take care of Ian. X payah tukar2 orang lagi n x payah dia kerinduan lagi. I think we can survive if it’s just us. Tp kos utk check up Ian is quite expensive. And it will be much much higher when it’s time to see the pe*********n n*********t. Byk test yang akan dibuat. Harap2 tuhan permudahkan jalan untuk kami.. Aminnnn..

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Saya tahu, kos akan lebih murah kalau kami pergi government hospital. Bukan mengada, bukan poyo, tp I had my own reason. Even skrg ni, kat PMC pun x puas hati gak with certain things. Rasa x berbaloi pn ada. Tp xpe la.. Dh terlanjur kat situ.. Kiranya, rezeki Ian memang dh termaktub kat situ la kot..

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P/s – Hehhehe.. harga Ian setakat hari ni, kalau dikira2, dh boleh beli sebijik kondo dh.. Tp xpe la.. Ian lagi best dr segala kondo kat dunia nih!!!

Curiousity..

Ian had his physio class today.. Ian is doing well.. I loves seeing Ian's 'playing' with the therapist.. Ian gelak smpi mengekek-ngekek.. I was too busy laughing at Ian till I forgot to record the moment.. Bad me!

Ian at Pantai Medical Centre, Bangsar..

Orang2 kat PMC suka tegur2 Ian. Coz he'll talk back and he loves to smile. Ms nak kuar from the physio & rehab centre, 2/3 org tegur, "Hi Rayyan.. Going home already??" I was like, "Eiii, ramainya kenal Ian.. Fames ames nyer Ian nih. Hehhehe.." - Mama yang perasan!!

P/s - Bila xtahu, rasa nk tahu.. Bila dah tahu, frustrated pun ada. Xpe, manusia punya asa, tuhan punya kuasa.. yang penting, doa n tawakkal..

1st trip to the mall

Ian sebenarnya tak brp suka gi jln2 ni.. He prefers to stay at home and lay on his bed.. Tp kena la ajar2 jgk kan.. So, last 3 weeks, we brought him to JJ Cheras Selatan a.k.a JJ Balakong. I'm so in love with JJ Balakong.. Semua ade.. Xyah dah gi mall yang besar2 tuh.. :P

Ian n ayah

Muka ngantuk n baru pas nangis

Terganggu aktiviti shopping mama n nenek.. Terpaksa la nenek jln sorang2..

Hasilnya.. Tp, head support cushion tu ala2 x berkesan jer..

Ayah punya. Masa ni Hush Puppies ade discount up to 70%..

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Ayah belanja nenek kasut sepasang and blouse scarlet 1 (huh, blouse nenek ala2 budak remaja punye woo..). Utk mama? Huhuhu.. xde ape2.. Ada la berkenan satu, tp xde saiz.. Uh, betapa gemuknya seorang aku! Camne nk dpt blk weight sblm pregnant nih???

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The next weekend, kitorg gi Sogo plak.. Kopak la ayah.. Muahhahaha.. Kali ni coz nak cari baju tido Ian. Byk yg dh ketat la..

Kali ni, nenek shopping handbag plak!!! Tak tahan betul la.. Hehhehe.. For Ian, dpt 3 pasang baju tido short sleeves, 2 t-shirt long sleeves n satu corduroy.. Geram tgk jeans.. Tp ayah kata relax la dulu.. Byk dh bulan nih..

P/s - Skrg ni, I'm eyeing for bouncer by fisher price n bumbo seater.. huhuhuhu.. Lmbt betul bonus!! Ada sape2 nak blanjer?? Hehhehe..

One step further..

Ian has reached one step further! Now he can turn! Bravooo big boy!!! Yes, again, it's not a big thing to others but to me, it is a sign of a promising future!! My mom called me when I was at my workplace earlier today just to tell me the good news!

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12.05.2008, Pantai Medical Centre, Bangsar - It was the day that I gave birth to my Ian. He was born @ 8.12am.. Since I went thru a c-section, the Dr didn't allow me to go and and have a look at my baby there and then. I have to wait first. And of course, they cant bring Ian to me as he was placed in NICU with special care since he was born premature with a serious medical condition.

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Later at about 815 pm, my gynea, Dr.Raman came, "How are you doing my dear?" He asked me. He's a very nice old man. A fatherly type. "I'm doing ok Dr. How's the baby? Can he walk Dr?"

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There's a smile on his face. "He's doing ok. At least he tried to cry. Bout walking, hmmm..let me see.. If he can walk now, it will be a great miracle in medical history.. I dont think he can walk at the moment. Let us wait till he's one year old k.." Still, there's a smile on his face. (Told you guys he's a very nice person! N, he's one of the fist specialist in fetal medicine in Malaysia! X sombong k..)

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I laughed when I heard that. I know that he's trying to calm me down by making me laugh. "After Dr.Das has checked everything and take off the urine bag, yes you can go down to see your baby.. Most probably by tomorrow morning." He added.

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Cant wait for Ian's first step! Bila tau Ian dh bleh pusing ni, rasa cam dan dan tu jugak nk gi klinik Dr.Raman and tell him all about Ian. Excited. Tp xtau la bila bleh gi.. Nak slot in camtu jer, dia nih busy all the time. Nak wat appmnt, cam beria nau plak.. Hehhehe.. Btw, Dr.Raman and his team are stationed at their own clinic in Taman Tun and most of the time, they only accept 'unique and isolated' cases.

Sweet dream my koala bear

Inilah bait-bait yang pernah saya abadikan di dalam blog lama saya pabila mengetahui kondisi Ian : "Walau apa pun yang terjadi, saya tidak akan putus harapan.. Saya percaya pada keajaiban.. InsyaAllah tuhan akan bersama hambaNya yang sabar.. Andainya satu masa saya terpaksa melepaskan, saya tetap redha.. Mungkin hati saya akan pecah, jiwa saya akan luruh.. Tapi ini takdirNya.. Seandainya DIA tidak dapat berada bersama saya untuk seumur hidup saya, biarlah saya yang menemani DIA untuk seumur hidupnya.. Semoga kasih sayang yang ada akan terus utuh selamanya.."

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P/s - Saat ini, saya masih berpegang kepada ayat yang sama. Lebih2 lagi setelah saya melawat beberapa blog yang mengabadikan kisah kehilangan anak yang dicintai..

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"Dan bagi tiap-tiap umat ada tempoh (yang telah ditetapkan); maka apabila datang tempohnya, tidak dapat mereka dikemudiankan walau sesaatpun dan tidak dapat pula mereka didahulukan"

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Sesungguhnya, dariNYA kita datang, dan kepadaNYA jua kita akan kembali..

Look who's talking..

Mulut Ian memang selalu bising.. Lately ni jerr dah ala2 sunyi sket.. Lg byk observe drpd bercakap.. Kalau kat physio session dia, mulut dia la yang plg bising.. Smpi most of the therapist there akan singgah kat tempat Ian and say hi to him. Just because he's loud..

Mind the mother k.. She's really fat at the moment. Will go on diet soon! Hehhehe.. On the hair, yes, it is sooo short. Since I'm suffering from a serious hair loss, I decided to cut it short!

This is one of the thing that makes me love spending time with Ian. Compared to the old days when he used to sleep at all time. Well pre-term babies are like that. Maybe bcoz they're still supposed to be in mommy's womb, so that's why even if there're outside, they still sleep a lot! You can see in this clip that Ian is still having problem in holding his head up straight. But lately, he's getting better at it. Hopefully in 1 week or 2, he'll be able to do it; fully!

Another new trick that he has learned is laughing. He started to do it about 3 weeks ago. I guess it's not a big thing to others. But to me, anything that my boy manages to do, is a big accomplishment. Not just to me, to the doc as well. From our last visit, the doc is quite impressed with Ian's condition and he's ability. He's doing good actually. Walaupun x meniarap lagi, it's not that bad since his corrected age is only 4 months. We don't want to push him too much or giving him so much preassure.. Having to keep him is already a bless because most of the doctor foresee that he might not be able to make it..

Ian's playing with his uncle. Towards the end of the clip, you can hear Ian's laughing. (Gelak smpi muntah susu..)

I guess he loves playing with his uncle and vice versa coz since we have Ian, Uncle x pernah miss dtg umah kitorg 3/4kali seminggu! Agaknya maybe sbb Ian ni cucu 1st in my side of the family, tu yang semua excited tuh!

P/s - My x-classmate, Auntie Lily came to visit Ian last saturday. She spent the whole day at our place. Thanks for coming dear.. Had a great time! We should do it more often.. And to Auntie Ya, Happy BefdaYY!! Slmt 26 tahun!! Mak Eiy, bo lah bbaloh nge befday gal nyoh.. Hehehheh..

Majlis cukur jambul

Entry yang tertunda.. Hehehhe..

We had this majlis cukur jambul for Rayyan on 12.10.2008 (a day after my birthday – yes peeps, I’m no longer 25!! Aarrghhh..). It was just a simple majlis held at my PIL’s place in Rawang.

At first, I want to have majlis berendoi for Ian as well.. But since no one was available to decorate the buai, so I just used his crib la.. Put some flowers & leaves on it, then, it’s ready to go..

For the menu, my MIL prepared nasi dagang served with gulai ayam and ikan, nasi lemak, bihun goreng & nasi impit with kuah kacang.

My FIL had asked the marhaban group to keep everything short since we’re afraid that Ian akan melalak (kitorg dh siap standby pacifier k..). To our surprise, he was sooo baik and well-behaved during the entire ceremony. Bagus betul, bleh wat majlis lagi ni utk Ian.

Proses gunting cukur jambul - dengar tak bunyi orang marhaban tu?? Cam x clear jer ek..

Ayah got to do the walk of honor! Jeles k! (Kalau pompuan yang marhaban, mesti saya yg dpt bawak Ian kan? Kan? Tapi FIL kata, lagi afdhal orang laki yang marhaban. Coz suara pompuan tu aurat.. Tak kisah la.. layan jer..)

Thank you for coming Mama Biey, Mak Eiy & Auntie Puteri..

After the ceremony. Mind my tudung.. I was in a hurry smpi x sempat nk pki tudung.. Ade ke majlis start kul 815am??? Orang surau habis kuliah subuh tu.. Huehuehue..

P/s – I could say that I had a great time. But it doesn’t feel complete since my family xde, except for my little brother (who was fashionably late!! Thanks to my beloved friends. Majlis starts kul 830am, diorg smpi kul 10am). Thanks to Yus & Arza gak coz sudi dtg dlm ujan2 n bawak baby Hannah!

Bukan Hanya Kami..

Saat yang plg menakutkan bagi saya ialah; saat yang bahagia! Kerana saya takut ianya akan berakhir. Saya tidak mahu bahagia itu pergi.. Sebolehnya, saya mahu waktu berhenti agar saya akan kekal bahagia selamanya..

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Tp sebenarnya saya yang terlupa. Bukan hanya kami yang teruji. Apabila kita diuji, itulah cara Allah SWT menunjukkan rasa sayang pada hambaNya. Dia tidak lupa pada kita. Dengan itu, diujinya kita untuk meningkatkan keimanan yang ada dan agar kita terus bersyukur dgn rahmat yang diberikanNya.

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Sudah beberapa hari menjadi pemerhati kerana kekeringan idea untuk menulis. Sehinggalah saya bertemu dgn satu blog yang cukup meninggalkan kesan pada hati saya. Saya kagum dgn keberanian si ibu menghuraikan kondisi si anak untuk tatapan dan teladan semua.

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Niat murninya saya sanjung. Dia ingin memberi harapan kepada mereka2 yang ada diluar sana. Kerana apa yang pernah dilakukannya adalah sama dengan apa yang pernah saya lakukan. Di saat mendapat perkhabaran mengenai Rayyan, saya juga seperti mereka yang lain, terus melayari internet sebagai sumber utama. Untuk memenuhi rasa ingin tahu. Apa yang saya jumpa, hanyalah pengalaman dari 'orang2 putih' yang kebiasaannya tidak malu untuk bercerita. Dan lebih byk info yang negatif dari positifnya.

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Dan kini, hati saya tiba2 terdetik untuk bercerita secara detail tentang Rayyan Ariff agar dapat menjadi pendorong buat mereka2 yang lain juga. Tapi saya masih takut. Sukar utk saya gambarkan ketakutan yang ada. Semoga Yang Maha Esa agar memberikan kekuatan kepada saya. Aminnnnn..

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P/s - At first, I want to wait until Ian's 1st birthday before I'm going to share his whole story. But now, I dont know for sure. It could be earlier than that.. Huhuhu..

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Bila kita diuji, kita selalu bertanya padaNya, "WHY ME??" Lupakah kita yang Allah SWT bisa menjawab, "WHY NOT???".. Ya, mengapa harus kita persoalkan. Apa istimewanya kita hingga harus diberi pengecualian dari dijui. Bukankah kita semua sama?? Hanya amalan padaNya yang membezakan kita..

Air mata yang tertinggal - kalaulah saya Angelina Jolie!

Hehehhe.. Tajuk cam bagus! Byk betul entry yang dh bersarang dlm draft folder. Don’t know for what reason, I can’t upload photo kat blogspot nih! No photo means; no updates la. Macam tak lengkap rasanya kalau nk post something without a photo.. hehhehe..

I have a new routine starting from last 3 weeks.. After we went for Ian’s checkup last month, his paed has registered him for “Early Intervention Programme” or in a simpler word, he sent him for physiotherapy.. Although it’s just once a week, we still have to do the exercise daily at home. At least 15min per session. It’s not that serious pun. The doctor just has some concern since Ian still cannot hold his head up straight. Other part of his body is just great. The physiotherapist even said that Ian’s body tone is good. I don’t know what that is actually. Whatever la.. janji semua ok.. They're looking at his corrected age. So still ok la..

And of course, Ian hates his exercise session. (I think he hates his physiotherapist even more.. hehhehe..). I don’t have video of him during the session except for this one. It’s not that clear tho.. Since Ian is doing good, they've reduced it to once in 2 weeks plak..

K, enough ‘bout Ian for now. Last Wednesday, my mom, my bro and I went to HUKM to visit my new friend’s baby – mind me, I have lots of new friends since I was pregnant to Ian. We exchange stories and of course, saya belajar dari mereka yang terlebih dahulu makan garam.. Back to our visit, this new friend of mine, her son was diagnosed with the same condition as Ian. HUKM is like their second home already. Ini yang menginsafkan saya. I always want more and more from Ian. Without realizing that he has reached so far then what everyone has expected. Saya sepatutnya bersyukur dgn keadaan Ian. He’s doing well and check up is only every 3 month (he’s seeing 3 diff specialists which make it sebulan sekali jgk.. susah nak selaraskan time..)

Di sebelah katil bayi kawan saya tadi, there’s another baby boy. I think he’s about a month or 2 months older than Ian. He was admitted due to problem with his lungs. Dia sangat cute and pandai bawak diri. Even my bro pn ckp the baby is cute (my bro ni high taste sket. Ian pn kena kutuk ngan dia tau). There’s no one accompanying the baby. Bila dia penat main2 sorang diri, dia akan tertidur sendiri tanpa perlu didodoi. Terjaga dari lena, dia kembali bermain-main dengan alat2 mainan yang tergantung di sekitar katilnya. Sangat berdikari. Menangis hanya bila lapar. Sebentar tadi, ada seorang wanita cina dtg bermain-main dgn anak itu. Kata teman saya. Wanita itu salah seorang doctor di HUKM. Dia selalu dtg bermain-main dgn bayi itu.

Berhadapan dengan bayi tadi, there’s another baby named Ahmad Daniel. He was admitted because of Hernia. Baru sebulan setengah. Sama macam baby tadi, he was accompanied by no one. Usai disusukan oleh nurse di wad tersebut, dia diletakkan kembali ke atas katilnya. Dia menangis untuk seketika. Ingin perhatian mungkin. Saya dan mommy bergerak ke katilnya untuk melihat dengan lebih dekat. Ada sisa air mata yang tertinggal. Di kelopak mata dan juga di pipinya. Namanya kami panggil berkali-kali. Dia memandang dan tersenyum. Mulutnya terkumat kamit seakan masih lapar. Cukup syahdu menyaksikan tubuh kecil itu. Saya tahu, peraturan hospital harus diikuti. Ada sukatan untuk minum dan ada juga jadual waktunya.

Saya tidak tahu perincian kisah anak2 ini. Saya cuma maklum bahawa mereka dari rumah anak yatim. Melihatkan mereka, cukup menyentuh naluri keibuan saya. Saat ini, yang saya rasa hanyalah satu. Alangkah bagusnya andai saya ini Angelina Jolie. Bukan kagum dengan bakat lakonannya atau bibirnya yang sexy, tapi kerana saya ingin melakukan apa yang dia lakukan. Seandainya saya ada apa yang Angelina Jolie ada, pasti saya akan melakukan perkara yang sama; iaitu mengambil kedua-dua bayi tadi sebagai anak angkat! Tapi apalah daya saya.. Terlalu banyak halangan.

Pulang dari HUKM, selain dari membincangkan kondisi bayi teman saya yang saya anggap senagai kakak, kami juga membincangkan tentang anak2 tadi. Daniel dan Hanape. Kata abg saya, andai dia sudah berkahwin, mungkin dia akan memohon untuk menjaga Hanape.. Tapi sekali lagi, ianya hanya "andai".. Sehingga saat ini, saya masih lagi tidak dpt melupakan wajah Hanape yang lena beradu dan sisa air mata yang tertinggal di mata Daniel. Ya Allah, permudahkanlah jalan anak2 ini.. Semoga ada keluarga penyayang yang sanggup berkongsi kasih dengan anak2 ini..

P/s – kepada sesiapa yang membaca entry ini dan mengenali sesiapa yang ingin mengambil anak angkat, boleh maklumkan kepada saya. InsyaAllah saya akan cuba tanyakan lebih lanjut mengenai mereka. Besar pahalanya kalau kita menolong mereka yang memerlukan. Dan anak2 itu, mereka perlukan perhatian dan kasih sayang..